After Life Bench

When I first heard that Netflix had donated an 'Afterlife' bench to Ashford, I was quite ambivalent. When I read that the plaque had been stolen, the importance of that bench really struck me and I was saddened that someone has tried to destroy it. 

In many ways, it is a bench like any other, so it doesn't matter. To many though, who watched Afterlife, they realise how much it does matter. That bench is a physical metaphor for our need to connect, to have a place to go, to share and offload. To sit quietly and contemplate and, if we are lucky, we might even strike up a conversation that leads to a freindship. Or something is said, that resonates so deeply, it can change us. 

Surely, I am not the only one who can feel one way about something quite mundane and then something is said or done and it changes how we view the world completely. 

Sometimes, I have been lucky enough to witness this in others in the counselling room. That moment where something clicks into place and a client will suddenly realise there is a new perspective to the world that they've not seen before. 

I believe that whilst this happens more easily in therapy, it is not the only place it can happen. Sometimes these moments catch us completely off-guard. Maybe a child will say something quite innocently and it makes you think. Maybe someone of a different generation will share their wisdom, or maybe you hear your own words and they resonate more profoundly than usual. I do believe that these moments can happen at anytime but I also believe that sometimes we need to be ready and open to realising what has been said or done. And that is why the bench is important. For some, it will be a bench, they might walk past, they might use it and then move on. For others, this bench represents an invitation. An opportunity to chat and connect, to be open to the world a little more than usual. 

I've given a lot of meaning to a plaque on a bench but I don't feel that I've over-sold it. And that is why I am saddened that it's not as complete as it once was. I hope that people can be open to the possibility that speaking to strangers can bring. Strangers who may become friends. 

In many ways, After Life seems derivative, the sad music plays when we should feel sad and the words are emotive but it resonates because it is true to how so many people feel. They have a story or experience that they are ready to share to help others, or to help themselves. 

The parallels to counselling seem to obvious for me to point out here. For once, I'm not going to espouse the virtues of sitting in my counselling room to make sense of your world. I would however, like to encourage you to speak. To anyone. You have no idea how much it might help them... Or you.