Find your purpose

By almost every barometer suicide is a crisis amongst men in the UK. Three quarters of suicides are completed by men. Rates of suicide have increased year on year for middle aged men and the rate of suicide amongst men aged under 25 increased by 23% in 2018, which are the most recent statistics we have.

So what's going on?

You can't read a piece about suicide without seeing the same reasons listed; pressures of modern life, that men don't speak about their feelings, that men are in the higher pressures job roles.

I can't help but feel that we are missing out on a crucial component here. In my work with male suicide survivors I have often been struck by their lack of purpose at the time of their attempt.

A loss is often a catalyst such as redundancy or divorce but this catalyst seems to open up a deeper wound - a lack of purpose in life.

As our lives have become more separate it often falls into female relatives to not only work but to also take care of children, relatives in need and all the day-to-day life events. I have often seen a teacher address a Mum, rather than a Dad when both are present. A clear sign that Mum is the one who matters. Dad is a spare part.

How often do parents get called by their children and it's Mum who has the long chat. There was that BT advert that addressed this, when the daughter asks her Dad to stay on the line rather than instantly pass over to Mum. That advert was effective because it was accurate. The strap line was also appropriate. It's good to talk.

So are our men missing purpose? Missing that human connection? Missing out on all that keeps life worth living when some parts feel so hopeless.

This is a very simplistic oversight to what is always a deep and detailed mix of influences however, I think the notion of purpose is key and often overlooked.

So give some thought, if something went wrong what would it be that kept you going? What is your reason to carry on? Where would you get support, get your purpose?

Rather than waiting to hit these issues why not sort this out now?

If you'd like counselling with someone who understands these needs and difficulties have a look on the website and get in touch.